Couldn't resist the little nod to my husband's newest passion... GOLF!
Anyway...
I like to say that if I had life to do over, I wouldn't change a thing. I learned from every mistake I made. As time passes, I think I have gained wisdom and tact from my mistakes... which are many more than a few, I can assure you!
Raising children is different. There are a few things that I would change, given the opportunity. My kids wouldn't be anymore awesome... cause that's not possible. They are at the highest peak of awesomeness.
But I think knowing then what I know now would have made me feel like a better mom.
So... here are the things I would change:
1: Breastfeeding.
I did breastfeed both of my kiddos. JP for 9 months, and Z for 6. I feel like I gave up both times without a real fight. With JP, I was working full time and pumping 3 times while I was at work, but we still needed to supplement with formula. His first meal was formula cause I was scared and hesitant to try and get him to latch. I knew I wanted to breastfeed... I just assumed (stupidly) that it would be completely natural (and by that I mean "like second nature") and effortless. It was neither of those things. The fact that he had jaundice did not help... but I blame myself for not jumping in with both feet. Z was latched on within 45 minutes of being born. JP was a day...maybe more before I got him latched. The nurse came in at one point with a bottle (after his blood sugar tested extremely low) and said either I could give it to him or I would have to. I know she was operating in his best interest, but it made me feel very inadequate.
JP did well switching between bottle and breast, but at about 9 months, I wasn't producing enough for it to be "worth the effort", I guess. I remember he got sick, had a really stuffy nose, and wasn't interested anymore.
Z was a different story altogether. Her bili was so low 1 day postpartum that she didn't even need to get tested again before we took her home. She nursed constantly... and by constantly, I mean for hours at a time. By our "2 day out of the hospital" check, she was nursing all the time, but my milk hadn't come in yet.
The dr told us we could keep doing what we were doing, and come in 4 days later for a weight check, or to supplement with formula, and come back for our 2 week check. Since I was planning on going back to work full time in 5.5 weeks, I told him we would supplement. She was going to need to learn how to use a bottle anyway... might as well introduce it now!
And so we did. She would nurse for 15 min a side or so, then drink ounces of formula. She is still my little piglet. So when my milk finally did come in, she would nurse until she had to work for it, then scream until she got a bottle. S.C.R.E.A.M. So I never caught up with her demand. At 6 months, she bit me before she even latched, and I knew she was over it.
I wish I would have stuck it out that first week. I wish I had known then that I was going to join the ranks of the SAHM, and that it would have been exceeding helpful to not have to buy formula (which is 25% of our grocery budget... seriously.) Luckily, since she will be 1 on Tuesday, we're all done with that! WOOHOO!
2: Working
I loved my job. I can't stress enough how well they treated me, and how good it made me feel to be awesome at my job. I loved going in, knowing that there would be at least one customer that would hang up the phone, smiling cause I just made her day.
Going back to work after JP was born was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I cried the first day back. I know that I sat in my supervisor's office sobbing when I first got there. I cried the entire drive to work from my parent's house, where my 6 week old son was hanging out in his pumpkin seat, probably asleep until my husband picked him up. There were many days after that when I sobbed on the way to work, hating that I had to work at all.
I wish I would have done the SAHM thing with my son. Sure, he's super low key to stay with family if we go on a date or whatever, cause that's all he knew for the first 3 years. He's a lot more attached to mommy now that I'm here all day. He gets a worried look if I leave to run to the grocery or go to craft night. He's so used to being with me always.
Now my daughter is the opposite of low key. She makes everyone very aware of the fact that she likes to be with mom. I can't leave without her being distracted or tears. Cause that's all she knows.
3: JP's diet
We did it wrong.
When he was just starting on people food (and by that I mean "not blended to unrecognizable) I made him something different instead of cutting up whatever we were eating.
It didn't help that many of our meals together were fast food or at a restaurant. Drive thrus are so convenient when you're running late for work and the kid is hungry.
This do-over piggy backs #2. If I was a SAHM when he was little, we would have had more meals at home, and less processed crap. We're getting tons better at trying new things, but the biggest complaint he has in trying something new is "It's grown up food, I want kid food."
It's really hard to try and start new habits when your child has crossed over into the "tiny human" phase of life, knowing that they are capable of making their own decisions and exercising that knowledge regularly.
I know I cannot change the way things came to be as they are... That doesn't mean I don't want to... even if it is just every now and again.
Anyway...
I like to say that if I had life to do over, I wouldn't change a thing. I learned from every mistake I made. As time passes, I think I have gained wisdom and tact from my mistakes... which are many more than a few, I can assure you!
Raising children is different. There are a few things that I would change, given the opportunity. My kids wouldn't be anymore awesome... cause that's not possible. They are at the highest peak of awesomeness.
But I think knowing then what I know now would have made me feel like a better mom.
So... here are the things I would change:
1: Breastfeeding.
I did breastfeed both of my kiddos. JP for 9 months, and Z for 6. I feel like I gave up both times without a real fight. With JP, I was working full time and pumping 3 times while I was at work, but we still needed to supplement with formula. His first meal was formula cause I was scared and hesitant to try and get him to latch. I knew I wanted to breastfeed... I just assumed (stupidly) that it would be completely natural (and by that I mean "like second nature") and effortless. It was neither of those things. The fact that he had jaundice did not help... but I blame myself for not jumping in with both feet. Z was latched on within 45 minutes of being born. JP was a day...maybe more before I got him latched. The nurse came in at one point with a bottle (after his blood sugar tested extremely low) and said either I could give it to him or I would have to. I know she was operating in his best interest, but it made me feel very inadequate.
JP did well switching between bottle and breast, but at about 9 months, I wasn't producing enough for it to be "worth the effort", I guess. I remember he got sick, had a really stuffy nose, and wasn't interested anymore.
Z was a different story altogether. Her bili was so low 1 day postpartum that she didn't even need to get tested again before we took her home. She nursed constantly... and by constantly, I mean for hours at a time. By our "2 day out of the hospital" check, she was nursing all the time, but my milk hadn't come in yet.
The dr told us we could keep doing what we were doing, and come in 4 days later for a weight check, or to supplement with formula, and come back for our 2 week check. Since I was planning on going back to work full time in 5.5 weeks, I told him we would supplement. She was going to need to learn how to use a bottle anyway... might as well introduce it now!
And so we did. She would nurse for 15 min a side or so, then drink ounces of formula. She is still my little piglet. So when my milk finally did come in, she would nurse until she had to work for it, then scream until she got a bottle. S.C.R.E.A.M. So I never caught up with her demand. At 6 months, she bit me before she even latched, and I knew she was over it.
I wish I would have stuck it out that first week. I wish I had known then that I was going to join the ranks of the SAHM, and that it would have been exceeding helpful to not have to buy formula (which is 25% of our grocery budget... seriously.) Luckily, since she will be 1 on Tuesday, we're all done with that! WOOHOO!
2: Working
I loved my job. I can't stress enough how well they treated me, and how good it made me feel to be awesome at my job. I loved going in, knowing that there would be at least one customer that would hang up the phone, smiling cause I just made her day.
Going back to work after JP was born was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I cried the first day back. I know that I sat in my supervisor's office sobbing when I first got there. I cried the entire drive to work from my parent's house, where my 6 week old son was hanging out in his pumpkin seat, probably asleep until my husband picked him up. There were many days after that when I sobbed on the way to work, hating that I had to work at all.
I wish I would have done the SAHM thing with my son. Sure, he's super low key to stay with family if we go on a date or whatever, cause that's all he knew for the first 3 years. He's a lot more attached to mommy now that I'm here all day. He gets a worried look if I leave to run to the grocery or go to craft night. He's so used to being with me always.
Now my daughter is the opposite of low key. She makes everyone very aware of the fact that she likes to be with mom. I can't leave without her being distracted or tears. Cause that's all she knows.
3: JP's diet
We did it wrong.
When he was just starting on people food (and by that I mean "not blended to unrecognizable) I made him something different instead of cutting up whatever we were eating.
It didn't help that many of our meals together were fast food or at a restaurant. Drive thrus are so convenient when you're running late for work and the kid is hungry.
This do-over piggy backs #2. If I was a SAHM when he was little, we would have had more meals at home, and less processed crap. We're getting tons better at trying new things, but the biggest complaint he has in trying something new is "It's grown up food, I want kid food."
It's really hard to try and start new habits when your child has crossed over into the "tiny human" phase of life, knowing that they are capable of making their own decisions and exercising that knowledge regularly.
I know I cannot change the way things came to be as they are... That doesn't mean I don't want to... even if it is just every now and again.
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