I was walking out to my car the other day to go somewhere... run a errand or something. I saw these 3 girls... 10, maybe 11 year olds, sitting on their bikes across the street from my driveway.
I didn't pay them much attention until one of them yelled, "Hey! Will you be my best friend?"
I froze, really not knowing how to respond. One of the girls, seeing my uncomfortable state, yelled, "She's kidding." to which I responded, "Ok.". Then I got in my car and left.
This got me thinking... Why was my gut reaction so extreme? Why did this question make me so uncomfortable?
So, I let my over-analysis start churning.
When I was younger, I always had a best friend.
As I grew and matured, the name kept changing. Inevitably, there were people who questioned, "Why isn't (insert name here) your best friend anymore...? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?!"
I've done a lot of thinking the last few weeks on this. It's true, I have grown a lot the last 10 years. I met my husband, got married, had kids, bought a house, and quit work. I'm a completely different person than I was. The people I was close to when Matt and I first started dating, for the most part, aren't even in my life anymore.
My definition of a friend has changed, also. In my younger years, I would hand out the label so freely, without much thought to it. Within minutes of being introduced to someone who marginally shared my interests or beliefs, they had my friendship.
In most, if not all, of these cases, there wasn't respect. Sure, I trusted people quickly in those days, which would be to my detriment. Turnover was high, and for a while, I didn't really understand why someone who I felt so close to could just disappear, and be emotionally ok with it. I had "friends" steal, lie, and abuse.
Now, things are different.
I'm an adult, and having my friendship also means that you have a relationship with my kids. I'm not so quick to let people around them that I don't know and completely trust.
There have been those situations where a friend and I grow in completely different directions. We both grow as people, but not in the same way. That's not a bad thing, but it does effect the relationship that was built.
I have a few very close and amazing people who I am blessed to call my friends, but our relationships were not built overnight.
I didn't pay them much attention until one of them yelled, "Hey! Will you be my best friend?"
I froze, really not knowing how to respond. One of the girls, seeing my uncomfortable state, yelled, "She's kidding." to which I responded, "Ok.". Then I got in my car and left.
This got me thinking... Why was my gut reaction so extreme? Why did this question make me so uncomfortable?
So, I let my over-analysis start churning.
When I was younger, I always had a best friend.
As I grew and matured, the name kept changing. Inevitably, there were people who questioned, "Why isn't (insert name here) your best friend anymore...? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?!"
I've done a lot of thinking the last few weeks on this. It's true, I have grown a lot the last 10 years. I met my husband, got married, had kids, bought a house, and quit work. I'm a completely different person than I was. The people I was close to when Matt and I first started dating, for the most part, aren't even in my life anymore.
My definition of a friend has changed, also. In my younger years, I would hand out the label so freely, without much thought to it. Within minutes of being introduced to someone who marginally shared my interests or beliefs, they had my friendship.
In most, if not all, of these cases, there wasn't respect. Sure, I trusted people quickly in those days, which would be to my detriment. Turnover was high, and for a while, I didn't really understand why someone who I felt so close to could just disappear, and be emotionally ok with it. I had "friends" steal, lie, and abuse.
Now, things are different.
I'm an adult, and having my friendship also means that you have a relationship with my kids. I'm not so quick to let people around them that I don't know and completely trust.
There have been those situations where a friend and I grow in completely different directions. We both grow as people, but not in the same way. That's not a bad thing, but it does effect the relationship that was built.
I have a few very close and amazing people who I am blessed to call my friends, but our relationships were not built overnight.
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