Mathematical Mama

I've been absent from my blog the last several months. To be completely frank, I've been absent from my life as well. For the last 6 months, I have felt like crap every single day. When this first came about, I honestly thought I was pregnant.  It started as a nagging feeling of nausea after every meal, much like my first trimesters were.  After taking pregnancy tests twice a week for a little over a month, I went to my family doc, thinking to myself, "This is NOT OK!" My family doc seemed fairly confident that my gallbladder was causing my pain.  I agreed with him, as my symptoms were textbook. He sent me for an ultrasound, then a hida scan.  Both came back normal, so he referred me to a GI dude. My specialist is a super nice guy.  I felt like he actually gave a crap about my health, and didn't just go thru the motions.  After my first appointment, he set up an upper GI and a colonoscopy... both scary words when you are a 30 year old. I got a lett...

I don't think about getting out of the house most days. Staying at home with the kids has become the norm. We have breakfast. They play until lunch. We eat again. Z takes a nap.  More playing.  I fix dinner.  Z eats 4x as much as JP does.  Playplayplay.  Jammies and bed. Then mommy shoots zombies. (Have I mentioned my newly-found addiction to XBox and Left for Dead...?!?) I don't get out much anymore except for craft nights. I didn't really think about being under socialized... until this week.  I kept finding myself in situation where I'm interacting with SAHMs who are... not very socially with it.  Women who don't have much interaction, except thru the internet or Facebook, and who are VERY passionate about the choices they make for their kids. Not to say that's a bad thing... it was just very intense... and in your face. More like on your computer monitor. Maybe it's just a difference in personality.  I'd like to think I'm pretty laid b...

There are times when I hate the internet. I hate that people have such access to boundless supplies of research materials, both accurate and inaccurate. I hate that sometimes parents make decisions for their kids based on misinformation. I hate that some parents aren't more open to different methods.  Not to try them, but just to realize that there are different ways of rearing a child, and even if it's not the path you choose, it's still not wrong. I feel this way because I can relate. I chose to start my daughter on a bottle in addition to breast feeding before 4 weeks.  According to some people, I didn't operate with my child's best interest at the forefront of my conscious. Instead of taking the leap in preparing my daughter for my return into the work force when she was 6 weeks old, I should have been foregoing sleep, and nursing her for HOURS on end. I'm a horrible mother. When I was working full time, we often made something specifically for my...

Couldn't resist the little nod to my husband's newest passion... GOLF! Anyway... I like to say that if I had life to do over, I wouldn't change a thing.  I learned from every mistake I made.  As time passes, I think I have gained wisdom and tact from my mistakes... which are many more than a few, I can assure you!  Raising children is different.  There are a few things that I would change, given the opportunity.  My kids wouldn't be anymore awesome... cause that's not possible.  They are at the highest peak of awesomeness.  But I think knowing then what I know now would have made me feel like a better mom. So... here are the things I would change: 1: Breastfeeding. I did breastfeed both of my kiddos.  JP for 9 months, and Z for 6.  I feel like I gave up both times without a real fight.  With JP, I was working full time and pumping 3 times while I was at work, but we still needed to supplement with formula.  His first meal wa...

...and by joy, I actually mean the exact opposite of that. JP is a really good kid.  Seriously. I'm not just saying that cause I made him from scratch.  He's pretty rad. We have our days, tho.  And one of those days just so happened to be yesterday. He was refusing to listen to me.  Every time I asked him anything or corrected his ridiculously bad behavior, he would either shout "NO!!!" or scream and run into his room. Extraordinarily frustrating... After several time outs and lots of yelling from both my son and me, he turns to me after getting out of time out and says, "Stop saying NO to me, mom!  You're being really mean!" I could feel the anger boiling up into my face.  Where is the well behaved little boy that all his grandparents love?  Where is my fun-loving son who doesn't talk back?  What have I done wrong?!?!?!?!? Then a teeny voice inside me told me to be calm and ask him to elaborate. (yes, my 4 year old knows what elaborate mea...

We just got home from a play date! The kids were completely wore out... Which means a rare moment of quiet for me.  At first, it felt like I was a kid in a candy store.. how do I spend these precious minutes?!  Laundry?  Dishes?  Nap? Knitting?  Catch up on my DVR? Sit in a semi-vegetative state and just stare? So... I'm recording our morning! JP and I were talking about it all morning.  He's in a *ahem* unique place right now.  We have been struggling with listening and not throwing fits when he doesn't like what I have to say.  So...he's a 4 year old. What do you do...? He actually did really well... no fits to speak of. He did, however, throw a cup of pool water at me... from the back. I tensed up, falling into the "furious apology" mindset.  Then I looked at the other women, 3 other moms who have kids at JP's school, and they all continued to chat, gloriously ignoring the fact that I was completely mortified. I relaxed.  This...

I have a birth story for miss Z, so I wanted to document the few fleeting details about my firstborn, before they are gone forever out of my head! So, here it is... JP's story. My pregnancy with him was fantastic!  I didn't have morning sickness past the first trimester (it stopped at 13 weeks on the dot) and I didn't crave anything weird, but did eat everything sour in sight.  Like, bag of sour patch kids with a 2 liter of lemonade...on a regular basis. Which probably explains my weight gain... but anyway... My OB took me off work at 36 weeks due to migraines.  Once I could lay down as soon as I felt one coming on, they were completely manageable. My sister was working at a nail place, so 15 days before my due date, I went to get a pedicure.  Since I carry large anyway, I got asked several times if I was past my due date, or if I was carrying twins or triplets.  Or both. And the owner of the nail place asked me very politely not to go into labor.  App...